Are We Asking Amiss? Seven Questions for Discerning the Legitimacy of Our Prayer (Mark 10:35-45)

In the following passage, where James and John ask Jesus to be his top lieutenants in his kingdom, we can learn some surprising lessons about prayer.

Mark 10:35-45

And James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came up to him and said to him,  

    “Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.” 

And he said to them, “What do you want me to do for you?” 

And they said to him, “Grant us to sit,

                                                        one at your right hand and

                                                        one at your left, in your glory.” 

Jesus said to them, “You do not know what you are asking.

        Are you able to drink the cup that I drink,

                 or to be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?” 

And they said to him, “We are able.”

And Jesus said to them, “The cup that I drink you will drink,

         and with the baptism with which I am baptized, you will be baptized, 

but to sit at my right hand or at my left is not mine to grant, 

   but it is for those for whom it has been prepared.” 

And when the ten heard it, they began to be indignant at James and John. 

And Jesus called them to him and said to them, 

“You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them,

                                                 and their great ones exercise authority over them. 

         But it shall not be so among you.

But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, 

and whoever would be first   among you must be slave of all. 

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve,

                                                     and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

When I read this passage in the past, I think I probably responded—with indignation—like the other ten apostles (v.41). However, this time I focused more on Jesus’ responses to their specific request. Here are four observations.

First, Jesus' was not offended despite their demanding tone and asked what they wanted him to do. Upon hearing their presumptuous request, Jesus' first answer was, “You do not know what you are asking.” Jesus didn’t pull any punches. The late Walter W. Wessel noted in Expositor’s Bible Commentary,

“Jesus' answer is sharp and penetrating. The two disciples did not really know what they were asking. The way to a privileged position in the messianic kingdom is not by grabbing for power but by relinquishing it through suffering and death.”

I have begun to wonder if, like Zebedee’s family (James, John, and their mom too—Matt. 20:20-21), we are still asking Jesus to do stuff that we want, instead of making his redemptive mission our heart’s desire. And we are not shy about asking, even when we have no idea of the scope and significance of what we are asking.

My second observation is that Jesus used the Old Testament images of cup and baptism to metaphorically describe the suffering and trouble that he would soon face (10:33-34), and James and John overconfidently said, “We got this!” (v.39). While Peter is often critiqued for epically over-promising, “Even though they all fall away, I will not” (Mark 14:28) before being told that he would deny Jesus three times before the next morning, this audacious claim by the sons of Zebedee (which amounts to the same kind of human posturing) often escapes notice. I think its self-promotion hits too close to home for many of us. Ironically, Jesus conceded that they would suffer for his sake. However, Zeb’s boys still didn’t know what they were talking about.

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My third observation focuses on Jesus’ answering their audacious request with what amounts to a loving “No”, or literally, “to sit at my right hand or at my left is not mine to grant.” Their clueless request shows that they still misunderstood his role as Messiah as well as the nature of his coming kingdom. He had told them at least three times that his journey to Jerusalem would end violently—with a crucifixion, not a coronation. But they couldn’t grasp such a dramatic plot twist to their carefully curated expectations. What about us? Do we have such a clear vision and plan for the future that we cannot recognize the working of God outside of our plans?

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My fourth observation is that in v. 42-45 Jesus provided a “But it shall not be so among you” corrective to both the sons of Zebedee and the other ten apostles. Our prayer lives, as well as our life values in general, are not to be like that of the world.

The ancient church had a saying, “The law of prayer is the law of belief” In other words, the way we pray and worship, is the way we really believe…more so than any written creeds, or catechisms we may claim.

On that note, as we prepare to enter 2020, let me suggest seven questions—drawn from this passage—for discerning the kingdom legitimacy of our prayers and the ministries which they shape.

Seven Questions for

Discerning the Legitimacy of Our Prayer

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By way of application, I want to pose seven simple questions that arise from this pericope which will help us not waste the privilege of prayer by asking wrongly. Not every request is legitimate, nor is every motive pure. Can we with the psalmist humbly ask,

“Search me, O God, and know my heart!
    Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24)

1. Do we presumptuously demand that Jesus do our bidding? While it is true that we have amazing access to the Lord, and can even be bold in our prayer, “so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” This is not the same thing as demanding that Jesus do what we want. He is not a voice-activated vending machine. As a loving Father, why would he give us something that will hurt us or others just because we demand it?
2. Do we realize what it is that we are asking? Sometimes we really don’t understand what God is doing and how he is at work. It might be that our prayer could be in opposition to his intended plan. There could also be ramifications to our prayer that we cannot imagine.
3. Is our prayer requesting something that Jesus can grant and still fully reveal the character of his Heavenly Father? He will not misrepresent the love and glorious goodness of his Father any more than the Father would share the glory of the Son with idols (Isa. 48:11). If Jesus had granted this request, it would have made it seem as though God played favorites, and that position in the kingdom of heaven was to be gained by political means. Neither of these is true.
4. Would others be troubled by our request? If I pray for the Seahawks to beat the 49ers on Monday Night Football my new neighbor would be troubled. What if he was praying the other way? While that is a relatively unimportant example, the point is that we should not pray for our own exaltation and/or enrichment above others. Additionally, it is wise to consider how a person might react if they overheard our prayer. I recently heard an evangelist praying for a government official in a way that, had they heard it, would likely have hardened them against the gospel message. Our prayer should selflessly radiate the love of God.
5. Is our prayer in keeping with Jesus’ kingdom values? We should take time to study the Beatitudes (Matt. 5:1-12) and allow their counter-cultural nature to inform the direction and tone of our prayer. Jesus values humility, servanthood, and self-sacrifice for the love of others in response to the love of God. Do our prayers mourn over sin—personal and corporate? Is it poor in spirit? Is it deployed in our peacemaking efforts or is it merely a means to maintaining our comfort, privilege, and asset accumulation?
6. Does our prayer life help us to be servants of others? As an extension of the previous question, does my prayer life cause me to be more sensitive or less sensitive and responsive to the needs of others? Any time we spend listening to Jesus should leave its mark on our lives, making us more servant-hearted like him.
7. Finally, is our prayer in keeping with the example of Jesus? By his example, I mean not only that he didn’t ask for others to serve him, but he purposefully served and gave his life for others. When it came down to the hardest prayers of all, Jesus said, “Not as I will, but as you will,” and “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)

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Notice also that in v. 51, Jesus asked the blind beggar Bartimaeus the exact same question that he asked James and John, and he granted his request. He set Bartimaeus free from blindness to “go your way” and Bartimaeus’ way was to follow Jesus “on the way” (v.52). When Jesus answers our prayers, do we do more of our own thing or more “following him on the way” as he works to rebind the broken cosmos?

If we pray, is our prayer legitimate? These seven questions should help answer that question. Jesus’ half-brother James wisely wrote,

You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. (James 4:2-3)

Today, my prayer is that out of our blessed relationship with Jesus Christ we will trust, ask, and ask not amiss.