2. A Cupbearer is a Confidential Sounding Board

The second function of the Cupbearer Initiative after that of A Brother (or Sister) in Arms, is that of a trusted adviser, an adviser in the sense of a confidential sounding board. 

Sometimes we just need a safe place to be able to share our ideas where the lightning won’t start fires or frighten others. Do we have someone with whom we can share such ideas? Sure, at some point we will need to share our ideas and plans with our staff, elder board, and church council. However, our staff and council may not feel comfortable opposing our ideas if we are passionate about them. And as staff, perhaps we are tentative about sharing our developing ideas and opinions with our superiors. What if they say no or are critical? Power dynamics tend to hinder open and honest communication within an organizational structure. The ancient cupbearer was often considered the king’s closest adviser, for he had skin in the game—the safety of the king was his job—and yet he had no path to power. As a result, he was not a threat and could be trusted to be refreshingly candid when asked for feedback.

The Scriptures are filled with teaching about the wisdom of getting good counsel before making important decisions, but in our culture, that is often taken as a sign of weakness. Likewise, any opposition to our plans can trigger our own insecurities and make us more defensive than we need to be. Here are just a few of those Scriptural admonitions to seek wise counsel:

• It is wise to get counsel and to consider the consequences of a course of action (Deut. 32:28-29).
• It is presumption on our part to not ask counsel from the Lord (Joshua 9:14).
• Some will follow us only as long as their counsel is followed and when we don’t do things their way they will leave like Ahithophel did (2 Samuel 17:23).
• Listening only to those who feed our ego and self-importance is disastrous as we can see in the life of Rehoboam (1 Kings 12; 2 Chron. 10).
• Even after hearing clear directions from the Lord, it is still wise to take counsel with those whom it affects on how to implement those directions (2 Chron. 20:20-22).
• We need to consider the source, for some will offer us wicked counsel (2 Chron. 22:1-5).
• Our taking counsel may play a part in our experiencing repentance, revival, and the return to the Lord we all desire to see (2 Chron. 30:2ff).
• Without counsel, our plans fail (Prov. 11:14; 15:22; 20:18; 24:6).

One of the most tragic parables in the Bible is that of the Rich Fool where Jesus tells about a rich man who did not take counsel with anyone but himself (Luke 12:13-21). Kenneth E. Bailey in Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes does an excellent job of pointing out the cultural and spiritual foolishness of such a self-focused and self-directed position. The saying, “he who defends himself in court has a fool for a client” is true in the area of counsel and self-examination as well. Have we become so isolated from others because of the pressures and perceptions of our ministry that we have no one with whom to talk over our decisions and get honest counsel? Isaiah 5:8 says,

“Woe to those who join house to house,
    who add field to field,
until there is no more room,
    and you are made to dwell alone
    in the midst of the land.”

Ultimately, we should work towards an open and honest environment where we can freely share ideas and offer constructive opposition or cautious encouragement without the constant fear of being “voted off the island.” Let’s face it, in our culture; we often “eat” our naysayers and whistle-blowers. It is a rare leader indeed who rewards those who love him/her, and the mission, enough to stand up to him/her if needed. Too often, our quest for consensus and unity means that the followers must agree with the leader instead of genuinely seeking the Lord’s direction together.

Our dream for the Cupbearer Initiative is to be able to help pastors and leaders to think through their ideas, carefully considering potential opposition, and weighing the practical and theological consequences off-line before going public. Over my more than 30 years in ministry, I have seen a few pastors make draconian changes regarding staffing, structure, and mission of the church/organization they serve with little or no conversation with those most affected. Such leadership needs to be held in check so that we might consider God’s leading and work in the lives of the people as at least as valid as his work in and through us.

Let me close this section with an illustration and a quote.

We all need a proofreader for we are often unable to discern our own blind spots. When I read my students’ papers they are filled with typos, grammatical errors, wrong words (that spell checkers don’t catch), and unfinished sentences (due to cut & paste editing). They would benefit greatly from a proofreader before turning in their work. I wouldn’t have to buy so many red pens! But as much as I can mark up an undergraduate student’s paper or that of a doctoral student, I have to confess that I am no different. When I do writing of my own, I frequently don’t have anyone willing to proofread for me and it often ends up containing embarrassing errors.

Paul David Tripp says it this way, “Perhaps every pastor needs to humbly recognize that because of the blinding power of remaining sin, self-examination is a community project.”[1] 

If we are willing to seek counsel and desire honest feedback, then the Cupbearers Initiative is for us!

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[1] Paul David Tripp, Dangerous Calling [Good News Publishers. Kindle Edition], 73.