Iron Sharpens Iron—Better Together! (Prov. 27:17)

 “Iron sharpens iron,
      and one man sharpens another.”

This is a message we often hear in the church, especially in the context of ministries aimed at men, though it is equally true for women. It is a powerful metaphor of the relational element of whole-life character (and perhaps even personality) development. It has often been said that such engagement might produce sparks, but it also brings strength and respect.

Pondering the concept of “iron sharpening iron” causes me to ask practical questions such as, “How can we sharpen each other for greater effectiveness and faithfulness in the long work of the harvest? What needs to take place for us to overcome the dulling effects of living and ministering in a fallen world? I have a 45-year-old boy scout hatchet (see below left) that is a bit the worse for wear. It could stand to be sharpened if it is going to be useful for chopping this summer.

Forged in Fire is currently a very popular television show, where four contestants are challenged to construct their signature blades in such a way that they will stand up to a series of sometimes gruesome tests for strength, sharpness, and lethality. The final two contestants are then tasked by the judges with building a specific weapon from history in their own home forge that will be brought back to be tested, and a winner will be chosen. While within our learning cohorts, we are not in competition with each other, there is a spirited discussion on matters of importance so that we can hear, learn, and grow in understanding—all while taking seriously the call to build (not puff) each other up.

Photo Credit Greg Dueker

A Doctor of Ministry (D.Min.) program is for those with considerable ministry experience—having run, walked, or crawled through some victories, some defeats, some wise decisions, and some foolish decisions. Yet just because we have experience doesn’t mean that we know everything or can even rightly perceive what we know. In cohort-based learning, we subject our pet ideas and approaches to the scrutiny of the community of learners. Untested ideas get tempered and nicked up a bit while the gouges and notches left by past and present conflicts are hammered out, heat-treated, and honed through lasting relationships and reexamination of the Scriptures, learning about the lives of fellow saints and spiritual soldiers, and humbly seeking godly wisdom in our ministry contexts.

Earlier in the same “sharpening” chapter, the author of Proverbs wrote,

“Better is open rebuke

    than hidden love.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend;

    profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” (Prov. 27:5-6)

This is also hard to hear…especially if we don’t like having our ideas and methods questioned. Yet, for the sake of the gospel, we should be willing and ready to face sharpening if we are going to be effective over the long term. Have you ever taken the time to consider how open rebuke is better than hidden love? I’m not sure that I have except to intuitively know it is better. The Book of Proverbs is consistent in talking about how the wise man responds to rebuke differently than the fool (See Prov. 13:1; 17:10; 28:23; 9:7-8; 12:1,15; 1:7-9, 23-27). The wise man finds value in being rebuked, for he can “learn” or “gain understanding” from the process. Even if the rebuke is undeserved, it may still help produce humility in the wise man and increase his dependence upon the Lord. However, hidden love doesn’t help anyone. This verse (5) reminds me of a technique you may have seen on the popular TV show, The Voice, where, in the early stages of the competition, the coaches often try to sell contestants on why they should pick them as their coach. One coach, Adam Levine, is often complimentary, but then points out some minor issues that need to be corrected and how he could help the singer improve. When he uses this approach, it works almost every time over the “compliments alone” approach other coaches might employ, because serious performers want to get better.

As pastors, chaplains, missionaries, and Christian leaders, we would do well to seek wise counsel before going into the spiritual “battle” that swirls around us. As it is written,

“Where there is no guidance, a people falls,
    but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14; See also 24:6)

The Bible—the whole counsel of the Word of God—when we delight in it, provides just such an abundance of counselors (Psalm 119:24). It is a wonderful thing that we don’t have to face the enemy, or prepare ourselves for the task before us, alone. In fact, we shouldn’t even attempt it. The Apostle Paul wrote to a younger pastor,

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” (2 Tim. 3:16-17)

This means that the Bible, read and studied together in community, is God speaking into our lives and ministries. It will be very useful since it …

• reveals what is right and true (teaching or doctrine)
• reveals what is not right (reproof)
• reveals how to get right (correction)
• reveals how to stay right (training in righteousness)

The bottom line is that we all need a teachable heart, a mind that is applied to seeking understanding, a life overflowing with the love of God, the faith to leave our comfort zone to join in the mission of God and to encourage others to keep up, that and the physical strength to do the work.

I am thankful to those men and women of my D.Min. cohort who walked with me in full, or in part, through the sharpening process—Mark Nicklas, Cliff Chappell, Joe Luce, Eric Knox, Chris Haughee, Jody Bormuth, Noel Schaak, Jim Polenski, Joe-Silem Enlet, Wilfred Kaweesa, John McKenricks, Serena Briening, Bill Myers, Will Berkley, Paul Louis Metzger and many others who supported us along the journey!

"In Process"
Photo Credit: Greg Dueker

I hope that you have faithful men and women to encourage and challenge you as you serve the Lord Jesus Christ. If you don’t have a committed learning community, check out cohort-based programs at well-respected seminaries. 

If there is one thing I know about axes, it is that a dull ax doesn’t split much wood, and just might be more likely to cut your leg than a log! Don’t be that person!

2. A Cupbearer is a Confidential Sounding Board

The second function of the Cupbearer Initiative, after that of A Brother (or Sister) in Arms, is that of a trusted adviser, an adviser in the sense of a confidential sounding board. 

Sometimes we just need a safe place to be able to share our ideas where the lightning won’t start fires or frighten others. Do we have someone with whom we can share such ideas? Sure, at some point we will need to share our ideas and plans with our staff, elder board, and church council. However, our staff and council may not feel comfortable opposing our ideas if we are passionate about them. And as staff, perhaps we are tentative about sharing our developing ideas and opinions with our superiors. What if they say no or are critical? Power dynamics tend to hinder open and honest communication within an organizational structure. The ancient cupbearer was often considered the king’s closest adviser, for he had skin in the game—the safety of the king was his job—and yet he had no path to power. As a result, he was not a threat and could be trusted to be refreshingly candid when asked for feedback.

The Scriptures are filled with teaching about the wisdom of getting good counsel before making important decisions, but in our culture, that is often taken as a sign of weakness. Likewise, any opposition to our plans can trigger our own insecurities and make us more defensive than we need to be. Here are just a few of those Scriptural admonitions to seek wise counsel:

• It is wise to get counsel and to consider the consequences of a course of action (Deut. 32:28-29).
• It is presumption on our part to not ask counsel from the Lord (Joshua 9:14).
• Some will follow us only as long as their counsel is followed, and when we don’t do things their way, they will leave like Ahithophel did (2 Samuel 17:23).
• Listening only to those who feed our ego and self-importance is disastrous, as we can see in the life of Rehoboam (1 Kings 12; 2 Chronicles. 10).
• Even after hearing clear directions from the Lord, it is still wise to take counsel with those whom it affects on how to implement those directions (2 Chron. 20:20-22).
• We need to consider the source, for some will offer us wicked counsel (2 Chron. 22:1-5).
• Our taking counsel may play a part in our experiencing repentance, revival, and the return to the Lord we all desire to see (2 Chron. 30:2ff).
• Without counsel, our plans fail (Prov. 11:14; 15:22; 20:18; 24:6).

One of the most tragic parables in the Bible is that of the Rich Fool, where Jesus tells about a rich man who did not take counsel with anyone but himself (Luke 12:13-21). Kenneth E. Bailey in Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes does an excellent job of pointing out the cultural and spiritual foolishness of such a self-focused and self-directed position. The saying, “he who defends himself in court has a fool for a client,” is true in the area of counsel and self-examination as well. Have we become so isolated from others because of the pressures and perceptions of our ministry that we have no one with whom to talk over our decisions and get honest counsel? Isaiah 5:8 says,

“Woe to those who join house to house,
    who add field to field,
until there is no more room,
    and you are made to dwell alone
    in the midst of the land.”

Ultimately, we should work towards an open and honest environment where we can freely share ideas and offer constructive opposition or cautious encouragement without the constant fear of being “voted off the island.” Let’s face it, in our culture, we often “eat” our naysayers and whistle-blowers. It is a rare leader indeed who rewards those who love him or her and the mission enough to stand up to them if needed. Too often, our quest for consensus and unity means that the followers must agree with the leader instead of genuinely seeking the Lord’s direction together.

Our dream for the Cupbearer Initiative is to be able to help pastors and leaders think through their ideas, carefully considering potential opposition and weighing the practical and theological consequences offline before going public. Over my more than 30 years in ministry, I have seen a few pastors make draconian changes regarding staffing, structure, and mission of the church/organization they serve with little or no conversation with those most affected. Such leadership needs to be held in check so that we might consider God’s leading and work in the lives of the people as at least as valid as his work in and through us.

Let me close this section with an illustration and a quote.

We all need a proofreader, for we are often unable to discern our own blind spots. When I read my students’ papers, they are filled with typos, grammatical errors, wrong words (that spell checkers don’t catch), and unfinished sentences (due to cut & paste editing). They would benefit greatly from a proofreader before turning in their work. I wouldn’t have to buy so many red pens! But as much as I can mark up an undergraduate student’s paper or even that of a doctoral student, I have to confess that I am no different. When I do writing of my own, I frequently don’t have anyone willing to proofread for me, and it often ends up containing embarrassing errors.

Paul David Tripp says it this way, “Perhaps every pastor needs to humbly recognize that because of the blinding power of remaining sin, self-examination is a community project.”[1] 

If we are willing to seek counsel and desire honest feedback, then the Cupbearers Initiative is for us!

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[1] Paul David Tripp, Dangerous Calling [Good News Publishers. Kindle Edition], 73.