Fan into Flame the Gift

My last post concluded with these verses and the following encouragement,

“For this reason I remind you to fan into flame [ἀναζωπυρέω] the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:6-7) 

Is there something that God has put on your heart to do, but the pressures of daily ministry and the fear of the unknown have kept you from doing it? Perhaps now is the time to revisit it.

I am going to take up that advice and revisit the topic here today...

Pastors and other Christian workers usually begin their ministry with an idealistic enthusiasm for the mission to which they have been called. The preceding verse suggests that this was true of Timothy, “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.” (v.5)

Timothy not only had a sincere faith personally, but was part of a heritage of faith. He also had been given “the gift of God” through Paul’s prayer. And yet Paul considered it important to remind him to rekindle or “fan into flame” [anazopureo: to kindle again] that gift. In this post, I want to do the same thing.

It's harder to build a fire
in the rain. But all
 the more necessary.

So why would we need to hear this message again? I think that doing the work of the ministry and participating in ongoing spiritual warfare can tend to dampen the flame with distractions, doubts, and the fog of discouragement. This also happens as men and women get caught up in what I call the “machine” of ministry—dealing primarily with the organization, administration, planning, budgeting, production, and never-ending deadlines that come with western ministry leadership—which can quickly entomb their initial gift, starving it of the spiritual wind it needs to burst into flame.

We live in dark days—days when people need to see authentic lives empowered by the Holy Spirit, seeking to live out their love for Jesus. Such lives bring both light and heat for the good of all. However, the well-cooled machine of church culture is not so friendly to such divergent light and heat. So if we are going to revisit and rekindle the very reason Christ called us into his great mission, then we will need to be intentional about it.

Photo by Erwan Hesry on Unsplash

What is the gift that God has put in you for the Church? What is the purifying coal of service from the very altar of God that has been planted within you, that which, when we let God overcome both our fear and our fatigue, might change the world (Isaiah 6:5-8)? Perhaps it involves one of the five ecclesial gifts—mentioned by St. Paul—that the Lord has given to the church, “apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds (pastors), and teachers.” (Eph. 4:11-13). No church is complete without each and every God-given, Spirit-empowered part working together. Yet are we making the church look like only one of the gifts? Or are we leaving one of the essential gifts out of the local church because it might be culturally unseemly? Dr. Tim Robnett (the former MU faculty mentor for Global Evangelism) thinks so. He contends that we are systemically ignoring the need for gifted evangelists in the local church.

Photo by Madi Robson on Unsplash

Fanning the gift into flame might also involve one or more of the “sign” or “charismatic” gifts (1 Cor. 12), but it is not limited to such a list. These lists are certainly not exhaustive nor constrictive, but empowering for the evangelistic and discipling mission and the edification (building up) of the community of believers. Jesus has a place and a purpose for each of us to fill…without which the church is less than it should be. So, how has the love of Christ transformed us and quickened our spirit to humbly meet some needs, right some wrongs, or declare some truths, as a participation in his restorative mission?

The church grows when “every part is working properly” (Eph. 4:16). This doesn’t mean that we all should do the same things in the same way. Instead, we need to be working as God has designed, called, and empowered us to work; not merely doing what others have taught us to do. Just as the Lord inspired and worked through all the different people who wrote the Scriptures—processing his message through their backgrounds, personalities, passions, and education, so he desires to work through our uniqueness to touch the world. At the same time, this post is not an encouragement for us to do our own thing regardless of what others have done. God’s purposes for our lives, like good theology, are best discerned in community. This is one reason we should seek out someone who can be a Cupbearer in our lives. 

This is also a good reason why churches should invest in the continuing education of their pastors—such as what takes place through a cohort-based MA or DMin program. 

So I ask again, do you know what gift you are being called to develop, evaluate, refine, and give to bless the church? I hope you will not hide it under your bed (Luke 8:16) but, as Jesus instructed the twelve, "Freely you have received; freely give" (Matt. 10:8).

As we collectively fan into flame the gift of God within us, our authentic example becomes a beacon, encouraging others to do the same. Jesus said that if we are filled with the light of Christ’s love, and participate in the redemptive mission of God, no matter what kind of opposition we face, we will find that our light cannot be hidden. 

Photo by Al x on Unsplash

5. A Cupbearer Is Both Ministry Coach, and Missional Incubator

The last two Cupbearer roles—the ministry coach and the missional incubator—are more common in our ministry culture. Many people call themselves coaches, and many want to plant the seeds of mission in others. However, the distinctiveness of the cupbearer approach is that it would encourage the minister to apply the humble-shared glory motif throughout all areas of their ministry. Similarly, the mission that ought to be incubated and released through their ministry is intentionally Trinitarian and relational. If there is less mission or orthodoxy than desired, the Cupbearer might use a problem-posing approach, asking the pastor to think about an answer and then follow up later.

Cupbearers as ministry coaches will encourage the development of kingdom values, building on the Trinitarian glory model (i.e., it is shared, humble, and invitational) in keeping with Jesus’ teaching in the Sermon on the Mount and specifically the beatitudes. From these kingdom values, will come an analysis of the fruit of the ministry entrusted to them, not the false narrative of the numbers game, but the kind of fruit that issues forth from the presence of the Holy Spirit in a faithful believer. The role of a ministry coach is neither to hand out participation trophies nor is it to shame pastors into conforming to a popular model. It is rooted in the teachings, commissions, and promises of Jesus Christ and is motivated by the love of God poured into our lives, as Paul wrote to the believers in Rome,

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (Romans 5:1-5)

In such an approach, God sees to it that nothing is wasted. We can rejoice even in suffering for it produces endurance à character à hope. At the very least, suffering is laboratory learning! Jesus, our savior and example, became human to identify with us, and in the process, the one who is omniscient in his divine nature actually learned obedience through suffering in his human nature. As Hebrews 5:7-10 says,

In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence. Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered. And being made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation to all who obey him, being designated by God a high priest after the order of Melchizedek.

Missional incubation is a natural function of the Cupbearer's calling, for they are as committed to fulfilling the missio Dei (mission of God) as anyone if thought is taken to do it Jesus’ way and in cooperation with others. In the West, we like strong leaders who get things done, but at the same time, we don’t like being told what to do. What we need are spiritual leaders who fully expect that their followers are hearing from God and are empowered by the Holy Spirit in their own lives, and don’t need the leader to tell them what to do in order to do what needs to be done. The late Rev. Ron Mehl once shared in a pastoral staff meeting,

“A strong leader says, ‘This is what we’re doing!’

 A spiritual leader says, ‘What are we doing?’ He has the willingness to release   

 leadership to [others so they can] do what they are called to do.”

I love the stories of a former missionary who never told national pastors what to do (“You need to plant a church in such-and-such town”) but simply asked them questions about what they might do (e.g., “If you were to plant a church where would you plant one?”) which peaked their imagination and incubated the mission already placed within them from the Lord. Cupbearers, like Jesus in his passion, do not seek to shout in the streets, neither adding to the bruising experience of life in ministry, nor snuffing out the smoldering wicks of your dreams and callings (Matt.12:19-21), but rather they desire to restore, rekindle, and release it.

“For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:6-7) 

Is there something that God has put on your heart to do, but the pressures of daily ministry and the fear of the unknown have kept you from doing it? Perhaps now is the time to revisit it.

4. A Cupbearer is a Theological Investigator

From the role of a spiritual director, it is natural that the Cupbearer is also what I call a "Theological Investigator." 

Call Before You Dig

While the label "theological investigator" may sound a bit like the infamous Spanish Inquisition, there is nothing to fear because it is outside of our organizational power structures. A better analogy for theological investigation would be the 811 locating services that are called to mark any underground utilities on your property before you do any digging. Such location work is done to prevent injuries and expensive repairs, as well as inconvenience for the neighbors when their service is interrupted because of your bad decision. 

How often do we take time to do such theological locating before we dig into the tasks at hand?

Praxis

The late Brazilian educator, Paulo Freire, defined “praxis” as action and reflection working together in mutuality. If we sacrifice action, then our reflection is just so much “idle chatter” or wasted words (verbalism); similarly, if we sacrifice reflection [e.g., theology], then all we are doing is merely engaging in “activism.”^[1] The Cupbearer brings the theological reflection part of Freire’s praxis equation that is used to learn what the theological foundation and trajectory of a teaching, an attitude, or a missional action would be. Such an inquiry is not done didactically but dialogically, prompting the participant to follow the trail where it leads and to report their conclusions.

Praxis that honors our Trinitarian God and expresses itself in transformational care for people will not happen by accident, nor by merely shifting our methodologies, but through training current and future leaders in the church to understand the “Why?” behind it all.

Tim Keller has also developed something similar to this idea as theological vision… 

Theological vision is hard, but it is what pastors need. Urban pastors struggle to connect doctrinal foundations to ministry expression in a meaningful way. There is a tendency either to overcontextualize to the city (which usually leads to weakening or relativizing a church’s commitment to orthodoxy) or to undercontextualize (which leads to inward-facing churches that reach only certain kinds of people and fail to advance a movement of the gospel in the community). But we find that the quality of the theological vision often determines the vitality of the ministry, particularly in urban settings.[2]

Whiplash and Withdrawal

Because of a lack of theological reflection in their praxis equation, some churches continually switch the things they are doing, and the methodologies employed to do them, without articulating the underlying reasons for it. Thus, members are confused about what they should believe. Since they may never have been shown the beliefs behind their actions, when the actions or programs change, they conclude that the foundational beliefs have changed. Such uncertainty and unsettledness have led many formerly engaged volunteers to step back from regular ministry involvement. There is even a name for such people, “Dones.” While pastoral mistakes are not responsible for all such withdrawals, there needs to be a change to prevent further relational and missional damage to the body of Christ.

Measure Twice, Cut Once

The conventional wisdom states, “Measure twice, cut once.” In my case, as I mentioned in my previous post, it has more to do with printing than with cutting. Everyone who writes needs a proofreader or editor, for they are often unable to discern their own blind spots. 

As a professor, when reading my students’ papers, I find them filled with typos, grammatical errors, wrong words (those that spell-checkers don’t catch), and unfinished sentences (due to “cut & paste” editing). They would all benefit from a proofreader before turning in their work. I wouldn’t have to buy so many red pens! But as much as I can mark up a student’s paper or that of colleagues in my doctoral cohorts, I confess that I am no different. When I do my own writing, I rarely have anyone willing to proofread for me, and the work invariably ends up containing embarrassing errors. Life is no different. Paul David Tripp says it this way, “Perhaps every pastor needs to humbly recognize that because of the blinding power of remaining sin, self-examination is a community project.”[3] If a pastor is willing to seek biblical counsel and desires honest feedback, then the Cupbearers Initiative is for them!

One way that Christian leaders can better develop kingdom-minded disciples is by thinking, praying, and discussing the issues together before making missional decisions and acting on them. The church would benefit from taking a balanced form of Paulo Freire’s ideas of dialogue and praxis seriously and stopping doing “mission” without first considering the theological foundation for such actions. Inserting Freire’s concept of “praxis” into the culture of the Evangelical church means properly balancing “theological reflection” with “missional action.”

In my own church culture, churches are quite good at doing stuff, but not very good at knowing why they are doing it. Cupbearers should help you with this.

---

[1] Paulo Freire, “Pedagogy of the Oppressed." 30th Anniversary ed. Translated by Myra B. Ramos (New York: Bloomsbury Academic, 2000), 87.

[2] Timothy J. Keller, Center Church: Doing Balanced, Gospel-Centered Ministry in Your City (Grand Rapids: Zondervan), Kindle Locations 305-309.  

[3] Paul David Tripp, Dangerous Calling [Good News Publishers. Kindle Edition], 73.

3. A Cupbearer is a Spiritual Director

One of the roles filled by a ministry Cupbearer is that of being a spiritual director. This term is used with considerable reservation for two reasons. 

First, there is a reservation because the word “director” can easily be misunderstood. In this context, it is not a director in terms of telling others where to go, stand, speak, enter, and exit, but more in the sense of providing directions, upon request, to help someone get where they are trying to go. The former meaning implies control and power over the participant, and the latter implies being a helper, a fully human resource walking in a relationship with another. Jesus’ own ministry with his followers involved time spent together, walking, eating, teaching, questioning, and praying, as well as challenging false ideas and sinful attitudes, such as their constant quarrel over who was the greatest. 

Photo by Severin Höin on Unsplash

Secondly, “spiritual director” is used with reservation in that it is a term once only known to Catholic Monastics and New Age practitioners and often has been a departure from Biblical orthodoxy into an uncentered mysticism. However, in recent years, Protestants and Evangelicals are once again seeking to connect with the larger stream of the Christian tradition in ways to deepen their relationship with Christ and with the church at large.

As a spiritual director, a Cupbearer seeks to encourage pastors to continue their spiritual journey (in step with the Holy Spirit -- Gal. 5:16, 25) instead of settling for some high-water mark they experienced in the past. Without forgetting what Jesus has done in the past, pastors should be challenged to stop depending on the way they have always done it and be open to experiencing the transforming love of Christ today. 

Synthesizing theological reading, with case studies from church history, affective spiritual practices, and Bible journaling, the Cupbearer as a spiritual director encourages a deepening of devotional life that is separate from their sermon preparation and other church work (Acts 20:27-28). Yet, taking a page from a humble glory pedagogy, a cupbearer begins by asking them where they feel like they need to grow and what kind of help they would like to do so. Here are a few scriptures that speak to this subject...

• 1 Corinthians 11:2 Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you.
• 2 Timothy 1:13-14 Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you.
• 2 Timothy 2:1-2 You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also.
• 2 Thessalonians 3:7-9 For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone's bread without paying for it, but with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate.
• Hebrews 13:7 Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith.

Do you have someone in your life who helps you in this way? Can you think of other verses that encourage us to be this for each other?

2. A Cupbearer is a Confidential Sounding Board

The second function of the Cupbearer Initiative, after that of A Brother (or Sister) in Arms, is that of a trusted adviser, an adviser in the sense of a confidential sounding board. 

Sometimes we just need a safe place to be able to share our ideas where the lightning won’t start fires or frighten others. Do we have someone with whom we can share such ideas? Sure, at some point we will need to share our ideas and plans with our staff, elder board, and church council. However, our staff and council may not feel comfortable opposing our ideas if we are passionate about them. And as staff, perhaps we are tentative about sharing our developing ideas and opinions with our superiors. What if they say no or are critical? Power dynamics tend to hinder open and honest communication within an organizational structure. The ancient cupbearer was often considered the king’s closest adviser, for he had skin in the game—the safety of the king was his job—and yet he had no path to power. As a result, he was not a threat and could be trusted to be refreshingly candid when asked for feedback.

The Scriptures are filled with teaching about the wisdom of getting good counsel before making important decisions, but in our culture, that is often taken as a sign of weakness. Likewise, any opposition to our plans can trigger our own insecurities and make us more defensive than we need to be. Here are just a few of those Scriptural admonitions to seek wise counsel:

• It is wise to get counsel and to consider the consequences of a course of action (Deut. 32:28-29).
• It is presumption on our part to not ask counsel from the Lord (Joshua 9:14).
• Some will follow us only as long as their counsel is followed, and when we don’t do things their way, they will leave like Ahithophel did (2 Samuel 17:23).
• Listening only to those who feed our ego and self-importance is disastrous, as we can see in the life of Rehoboam (1 Kings 12; 2 Chronicles. 10).
• Even after hearing clear directions from the Lord, it is still wise to take counsel with those whom it affects on how to implement those directions (2 Chron. 20:20-22).
• We need to consider the source, for some will offer us wicked counsel (2 Chron. 22:1-5).
• Our taking counsel may play a part in our experiencing repentance, revival, and the return to the Lord we all desire to see (2 Chron. 30:2ff).
• Without counsel, our plans fail (Prov. 11:14; 15:22; 20:18; 24:6).

One of the most tragic parables in the Bible is that of the Rich Fool, where Jesus tells about a rich man who did not take counsel with anyone but himself (Luke 12:13-21). Kenneth E. Bailey in Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes does an excellent job of pointing out the cultural and spiritual foolishness of such a self-focused and self-directed position. The saying, “he who defends himself in court has a fool for a client,” is true in the area of counsel and self-examination as well. Have we become so isolated from others because of the pressures and perceptions of our ministry that we have no one with whom to talk over our decisions and get honest counsel? Isaiah 5:8 says,

“Woe to those who join house to house,
    who add field to field,
until there is no more room,
    and you are made to dwell alone
    in the midst of the land.”

Ultimately, we should work towards an open and honest environment where we can freely share ideas and offer constructive opposition or cautious encouragement without the constant fear of being “voted off the island.” Let’s face it, in our culture, we often “eat” our naysayers and whistle-blowers. It is a rare leader indeed who rewards those who love him or her and the mission enough to stand up to them if needed. Too often, our quest for consensus and unity means that the followers must agree with the leader instead of genuinely seeking the Lord’s direction together.

Our dream for the Cupbearer Initiative is to be able to help pastors and leaders think through their ideas, carefully considering potential opposition and weighing the practical and theological consequences offline before going public. Over my more than 30 years in ministry, I have seen a few pastors make draconian changes regarding staffing, structure, and mission of the church/organization they serve with little or no conversation with those most affected. Such leadership needs to be held in check so that we might consider God’s leading and work in the lives of the people as at least as valid as his work in and through us.

Let me close this section with an illustration and a quote.

We all need a proofreader, for we are often unable to discern our own blind spots. When I read my students’ papers, they are filled with typos, grammatical errors, wrong words (that spell checkers don’t catch), and unfinished sentences (due to cut & paste editing). They would benefit greatly from a proofreader before turning in their work. I wouldn’t have to buy so many red pens! But as much as I can mark up an undergraduate student’s paper or even that of a doctoral student, I have to confess that I am no different. When I do writing of my own, I frequently don’t have anyone willing to proofread for me, and it often ends up containing embarrassing errors.

Paul David Tripp says it this way, “Perhaps every pastor needs to humbly recognize that because of the blinding power of remaining sin, self-examination is a community project.”[1] 

If we are willing to seek counsel and desire honest feedback, then the Cupbearers Initiative is for us!

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[1] Paul David Tripp, Dangerous Calling [Good News Publishers. Kindle Edition], 73.

1. A Cupbearer is a Brother (or Sister) in Arms

In my first post, What is a Cupbearer? I noted that the Cupbearer wears many hats, for he/she serves as…

• A Brother or Sister in Arms
• A Confidential sounding board 
• A Spiritual Director 
• A Ministry Coach 
• A Theological Investigator 
• A Missional Incubator & Midwife

I will discuss these various roles in a series of posts, starting with the first one—A Brother or Sister in Arms.

We all want to be heard and understood. Very few truly want to be alone, and if they do, it is likely the result of the failure of others to hear and understand. Pastors are no different. We need someone who isn’t going to posture, compare, or judge us based on “those numbers” that pastors are asked about. Have you noticed that our culture is fixated on metrics that are primarily economic (e.g., attendance, giving, conversions, etc.) rather than relational? At pastors' conferences, it is usually the second or third question that comes up in conversations when meeting other pastors. While I confess to being a bit of a stat geek when it comes to baseball, I think that statistics in ministry fail to bring us together and tend to put our focus on the wrong things. 

Pastors don’t need someone to dismiss them for the size of the church they serve—whether too big or too small. What pastors need is someone with whom they can honestly and safely share…

• Their theological ideas and passions and be encouraged.
• Their ministry doubts and concerns and be heard and understood.
• Their spiritual struggles as a pastor (Where do they sense a spiritual attack? Where have they experienced victory? Where is there a sense of shalom?) and to be personally, and steadfastly, supported in prayer and discernment.

Before we need a Spiritual Director or a Ministry Coach (which are also elements of the Cupbearer role), we need a brother or sister-in-arms. Jesus didn’t send his disciples out to minister alone, so why do we? Pastors need to know that they are not alone. It is too often a solitary calling as a result of our undue emphasis on individualism instead of a collective family of God approach. We also need to feel that we have been heard and understood, yet without being coddled. Only a comrade in arms can fill this challenging role.  

As pastors, we are not merely doing a job. Sometimes we wish ministry were just a job like painting a house or selling widgets, but we are actually waging war in the spiritual realm. Sometimes we can approach the ministry as a task to perform, a goal to reach, only in the natural sense…and as a result, we grow gradually drier and more brittle, and our people suffer for it. Do we crave the refreshing water of the Spirit?

War takes its toll on relationships. So why do we think we can do it alone? The psalmist writes,

Look to the right and see:
    there is none who takes notice of me;
no refuge remains to me;
    no one cares for my soul. (142:4)

Such a lack of care by others for our souls can be keenly felt by many serving in ministry. Others seem to boldly carry on as though they needed no one to lean on. However, it doesn’t seem likely that we are less needful of brothers in arms than Jesus. Perhaps we have merely become numbed to our needs or think that asking for help is a sign of weakness—it isn’t. Jesus asked, and so did Paul.

Jesus in Gethsemane,

“And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” (Matthew 26:37-38)

Paul wrote to Timothy,

Do your best to come to me soon. For Demas, in love with this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, Titus to Dalmatia. Luke alone is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry. Tychicus I have sent to Ephesus. When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas, also the books, and above all the parchments. (2 Timothy 4:9-13)

In the Old Testament, one passage that stands out to me in this regard is that of Jonathan and his armor-bearer in 1 Samuel 14 when they scaled a cliff to attack a Philistine garrison. Their joint action of attacking brought victory. It threw the enemy into a panic to such a degree that the Philistines began to attack each other. Are we in any less of a battle than they were? No. We do not fight with the weapons of the world (2 Cor. 3-5) for our true fight is not against people but against the spiritual powers of oppression, injustice, and wickedness (Eph. 6:12). It is for this reason that we must put on the “whole armor of God” which is not really the work of an individual, but of disciples in relationships supporting each other in prayer.

Do we have someone with whom we can stand against the enemy, whether we fight to defend something as unremarkable as a plot of lentils or a field of barley (2 Sam. 23:11-12; 1 Chr. 11:12-14), or something more noticeable like rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem against attack,

When our enemies heard that it was known to us and that God had frustrated their plan, we all returned to the wall, each to his work. From that day on, half of my servants worked on construction, and half held the spears, shields, bows, and coats of mail. And the leaders stood behind the whole house of Judah, who were building on the wall. Those who carried burdens were loaded in such a way that each labored on the work with one hand and held his weapon with the other. And each of the builders had his sword strapped at his side while he built. The man who sounded the trumpet was beside me. And I said to the nobles and to the officials and to the rest of the people, “The work is great and widely spread, and we are separated on the wall, far from one another. In the place where you hear the sound of the trumpet, rally to us there. Our God will fight for us.” (Neh. 4:15-20).

How often do we fall into temptation, discouragement, or simple ineffectiveness, because we don’t have a brother in arms to carry our armor for us when we are weak and to make sure we still strap it on when we are strong? Who watches for us while we work? Who comes to our aid in our time of need?

A Cupbearer in this model is many things, but it is first A Brother or Sister in Arms who allows their own life and ministry to be interrupted for the spiritual safety of another.

Why Do We Need a Cupbearer?

In this post, I am addressing an advocacy mission to pastors, missionaries, and Christian ministry leaders (for brevity I will use the word “pastors” to refer to all types of Christian workers). So why would  those who are spiritually mature, biblically grounded, positional established, and service-minded need a mission directed towards them?

Simply because our enemy has a strategy…if you want to harm the sheep, you start by taking out the shepherd. Even the Lord used such tactics against the wicked leaders in ancient Israel,

“Awake, O sword, against my shepherd,
    against the man who stands next to me,”
declares the Lord of hosts.

“Strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered;
    I will turn my hand against the little ones. (Zech. 13:7)

Pastors are called to be disciple-makers, but who disciples them, encourages them, and lets them know when they are looking out at the world through dirty windows? It may come as a surprise but the “windows” of our perspective may become dirty not only because of external factors (such as bugs, tree sap, and dirty rain) but they may become gradually filmed like the inside of a car windshield gets dirty from who-knows-what. We often don’t notice the inside until we wipe part of it off and the difference becomes obvious. The attack on pastors is often cumulative, gradual, by degrees rather than by all-out assault…and as such, it can be minimized through ongoing care.

Speaking the truth in love, we encourage “each part” to be working properly so that the body may grow and be built up in love. (Eph. 4:15-16)

How are Pastors under Attack?

"Pastors have it easy, they only work one day a week, right?" I think everyone in ministry has heard this thought at least once! We laugh politely at the decidedly unfunny and inaccurate joke.

Let me list five ways that pastors and their wives are under attack today:

1. Culturally…Pastors are frequently mocked, slandered, and demonized in the media; at the same time, the changing culture makes it difficult to know how to do ministry well. One of the quickest ways to kill a conversation is to reveal that you are a pastor.

2. Economically…While some famous televangelists and mega-church pastors may be over-compensated to the detriment of the generosity of all, many pastors are often under-resourced in both time and money. This comes as a result of shrinking giving, low wages, taking second jobs, increased cost of living, student debts, health care burdens, and minimal retirement options. Those who are responsible for raising their own support are rarely fully funded, but because of their passion for the cause, they simply tighten their belts and press on the best they can. Yet long-term deprivation takes its toll both physically and emotionally. One of the most encouraging aspects of ministry is being surprised by those times when people are moved by generosity.  The other side of the coin, perhaps the hardest aspect of ministry, is not when people fail to be generous but when the pastor (and spouse) are faced with their inability to help others like they would want to.

3. Spiritually…The care for the church comes at a price. It may come as “dryness,” or as discouragement and doubt. A pastor must often lead the flock despite demonic divisiveness and distraction, even from those who are closest. The enemy is not the person in the pew or not in the pew, but a spiritual opposition (Eph. 6:10-13).

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 

4. Relationally…War is always hard on relationships. When pastors are without ongoing soul care, it puts an extra strain on their marriage, family, church family, and friendships. Their cry is that of Psalm 142, especially verse four,

Look to the right and see:
    there is none who takes notice of me;
no refuge remains to me;
    no one cares for my soul. (Psalm 142:4).

5. Institutionally…Pastors can face discrimination within their own movement due to their age (young or old), orthodox doctrine, small church size, and even their methodologies. The pastor’s inability to disengage from daily burdens to learn and grow with others also needs to be addressed.

By the Numbers

Here are some statistics from a study by R.J. Krejcir on the health or dis-health of pastors from 1989 to 2006, which was published in 2007:

• 1500 pastors leave the ministry each month due to moral failure, spiritual burnout, or contention in their churches.
• 50% of pastors' marriages will end in divorce.
• 80% of pastors feel unqualified and discouraged in their role as pastors.
• 50% of pastors are so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could but have no other way of making a living.
• 80% of seminary and Bible school graduates …will leave the ministry within the first five years.
• 70% of pastors constantly fight depression.
• Almost 40% said they have had an extra-marital affair since beginning their ministry.
• 70% said the only time they spend studying the Word is when they are preparing their sermons.
• 60% to 80% of those who enter the ministry will not still be in it 10 years later[1].

After listing his study’s findings,  Krejcir commented that “Many pastors—I believe over 90 %—start off right with a true call and the enthusiasm and the endurance of faith to make it, but something happens to derail their train of passion and love for the call.”[2]

I agree with this statement. We start well, but “something happens.” But what is it, and is there anything that we can do about it? I think there is…but first we have to be honest.

Pastors Have Unique Challenges

I recently heard a seasoned missionary pastor say, “Pastors are like cops, they only talk to other pastors.” I think to a large extent he is right. However, when we talk to other pastors how often do we talk about what is really important? Do we, as pastors have another pastor who will help us refocus our hearts and methods on Christ without burdening us with more expectations?

It is my observation that pastors often don’t have someone outside their own church/ministry power structure who can give them feedback that is both safe and honest. With whom would we openly share our struggles with our calling and our passion for ministry?

• Not our boss. It is not safe to talk like this with your boss. It should be, but it isn’t.
• Not our employees. While we should model vulnerability to those whom we lead, it is often the case that an employee will not feel comfortable giving honest feedback, especially when their boss is passionate about the issue in question. This hesitancy contributes to groupthink but is justified because the church tends to “eat” our constructive naysayers. Your staff can't be fully honest with you about your attitudes, ideas, and leadership style because you either sign their checks or otherwise control their futures. 
• Not our spouse. Spouses, while desiring to be supportive, may not be able to provide the kind of non-threatening critique and challenge that is needed. While spouses will often volunteer critiques of our sermons, they may not fully understand what we are wrestling with and we would spare them the stress of having to carry our weight as well as their own. 

If a pastor were going to “get help” in dealing with their own personal crises, they may see a professional therapist or even a psychiatrist. However, such specialized resources may be beyond the pastor’s ability to pay. While this therapy may be helpful, I don’t think that many therapists would be able to fill the Cupbearer role. Pastors need someone with whom they can honestly and safely share…

• Their theological passions, issues, and doubts.
• Their ministry ideas and concerns.
• Areas where they want to grow, feel inadequate, or need further equipping.

I have found this type of encounter to be not only energizing and revitalizing but revelational. It has been in such moments that I have seen others find comfort, clarity, and loving correction, and have experienced it in my own life as well.

I know that my own denomination needs an advocacy mission for pastors for several reasons. Sometimes relations between pastors and their superiors can be unintentionally strained. When leaders only reach out to their people when they want them to do something for them, or when they have done something wrong, then their people will feel used and uncared for. The same is true of pastors and their supervisors or bishops.

• Pastors of large churches may feel used, as though the denomination only wants their resources (e.g., human, financial, influence).
• Pastors of smaller churches may feel totally ignored and unimportant. Many will never get a call unless something goes wrong.
• Older pastors may have trouble adapting to new ministry contexts and new corporate cultures but are supposed to adapt without explanation or understanding.
• Younger pastors may feel no one has time to help them develop their own vision.

Has “pastoral development” simply become a code word for conforming local pastors to their Supervisor/Bishop’s current vision for them instead of calling their own gifts forth out of their hearts? If someone came to us and said they had a word from the Lord for us, we should test it against Scripture and also against the Spirit’s leading in our lives before trying to implement it in our lives. Personal prophecy is not directional but confirmational. Why do we think that our visions as leaders are directional and are to be imposed on others? If our vision is to be theirs, then God will have already begun to speak this into the lives of others. Any sincere efforts on our part in staff development are handicapped by the power dynamics in play.

When I say that there is a desperate need for denominations to fund pastoral advocacy missions like Cupbearers—as a way of showing relational care for their pastors, care that comes outside the existing power structure, does that resonate with what the Lord has been telling you?

I am convinced that ideas have long-term consequences. Someone once said that the philosophies argued in the classroom in one generation will be decided on the battlefield in the next generation. So, if we keep going down this road as solitary and disconnected leaders, what will our lives and ministries look like in 10-15 years? 

Who will help pastors and leaders safely wrestle with theological issues arising from the text of their teaching and the testimony of their ministry and management practices? Who will tell us that there is poison in our cup? I am reminded of the ancient Latin prayer, Veni Sancte Spiritus (Come Holy Spirit), which should be the heart cry of every pastor. Two verses, in particular, characterize the Spirit-led work of a Cupbearer.

Cleanse that which is unclean,

water that which is dry,

heal that which is wounded.

Bend that which is inflexible,

fire that which is chilled,

correct what goes astray.

We need a Spirit-filled Cupbearer for at least the above six reasons!

In our next post, we will begin to consider the roles of the Cupbearer in our ministries.

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[1]  R. J. Krejcir Ph.D. Francis A. Schaeffer Institute of Church Leadership Development 2007.

[2] Ibid.